Back to school and related pains.....
3 weeks in and we're over the hump! I never recall feeling total anguish and terror over going back to school....I certainly don't recall my parents feeling this either ...more like sighs of joy all round.
My mother's only source of stress, if one can call it that, was coordinating her bridge passion with becoming a full time taxi driver running me from school to orchestra to tennis, to band to ballet to cello to flute to sailing to choir and back to school again!! I'm afraid that public transport in the antipodes was a mere shadow of the brilliant transport system here. ....Oh god, here I go, can't resist getting side tracked.."3 Cheers for Alain Juppé and the wonderful wonderful tramway in Bordeaux!!!!!!" More about this another day.... Today I want to talk about going back to school and mothers.....
The first day my son entered the Maternal ( Kindergarden!) he came home armed with at least 20 papers for me to fill out, sign and duly return, often with separate cheques for piddling amounts such as 2 euros 30 for classroom tissue supplies...I exaggerate NOT!! I sent my son along with cash the first time but it came back home with him...and I had to write out 7 separate cheques totalling to less than 30 euros! I might add that I was stupefied as the info I was filling out was IDENTICAL on every single piece of paper!!!!!!! OK so that was 10 years ago and the computer systems were certainly not up to today's.Now can I tell you what really pushes my red button.....I have been filling out these same forms for both my children EVERY SINGLE YEAR of their scolarity.I am still doing it,12 years on.I always get something wrong/leave something out and my poor children get sent home with notes in their homework notebooks reminding them their mother is an admin dunce. Does this drive you as batty as me? Have you ever wondered...WHY? Its not as if the info changes...my son is still ticking the male box and my daughter the female box. Our phone numbers haven't changed and neither have the parents...?
Then there is the "fournitures"/ school supplies. From College onwards this becomes an almost insurmountable battle in the supermarket aisles every September as perspiring parents battle for their 4 colour biros, red, green and blue pens,blanco, white boards and markers, assorted felt tips, assorted colours pencils, HB pencils, not to mention the kilos and kilos of stationery... I am fortunate enough to have a willing french husband who carries out this task for me. The first time I read my son's school supply list I felt transported onto another planet. Over 30 entries with descriptions such as " cahier quad 96 pages 21 x 29,7"....being blond I thought I had to do maths at the supermarket too...where's my calculator? In my country, all we needed was a school bag with a pencil case, fountain pen, pencil, rubber and ruler. Our school provided the stationary and books...surely this is not such a difficult concept even for the Education National to grasp. If the state bought the stationary it would also mean definate business for the paper companies plus a rise in competition and drop in prices...couldn't the schools simply "bill" the parents??????? Dah?
For the kids the anguish comes in filling up the school bag for the next day...and woe betide you if you bring the wrong cahier to class or forget your green biro. I'm sorry but I just don't get this!!!! Why stress a child over such menial things and couldn't the teacher have a few extra pens on hand...I do for my students and they're adults!! If they want to teach them responsibility take them out on the streets to pick up rubbish, let them do service in the community...no?
Then there are the first "controls"..the first tests with the object NOT of seeing how much you know but how much you DON'T know!! ARGH, this kills me. When will they learn that teaching is about making kids realise what they are good at and strengthening this and then consolidating and " improving" where there are weaknesses. I am far from being PC ( politically correct) when it comes to education but there must be a shift in attitude to make these wee people feel like they have a value. So, if you aren't good at maths let's encourage your french and vice versa. Everything has a grade out of 20....get less than 10 and you are basically a moron!!!..even if you get 18 in another subject!! Sometimes there are no grades but a useful comment such as "vu"...seen. Now THAT'S educative. As a teacher at post bac up to Masters 2 level I still go out of my way to write informative comments to HELP my students. I want them to succeed. I want them to learn and grow. Am I odd?
Culture : did you, like me, imagine that as your child was in France that he would be painting like Monet and expressing himself like Moliere...?? Wake up!! Sadly art, written expression and music have a very small place even in primary school. Last year when my daughter was in CM2 ( year 6) I asked the teacher at the parents meeting if she had planned on doing some art. She said yes there was an art lesson planned. "Oh, once a week?" asked the naive mother.."No, once this year"...no comment. My son is 15 and my daughter is 10 and I am still waiting for them to come home with the stories they have written at school. Still waiting........
Enough about the system and its state of limbo. Let's get onto another one of my culture shocks. In my country, as in most anglo/american countries we love mother support groups and networks ( hence my vain attempts with this blog!!). The coffee/tea mornings start early on in our childrens' lives....usually when they are still foetuses. I remember the envy I felt towards my antipodean girlfriends talking about their birthing groups, getting together once a week at one of the members' homes, ranting on about morning sickness, veins, dreadful maternity clothes, attitudes, horny husbands still insisting on acrobatic positions when the baby is due next week, etc etc. I don't know about you but my first pregnancy in France was a period marked by projectile vomiting for 4 months, dealing with arrogant male gynies and loneliness. A coffee group would have been fab....I did try with my second pregnancy to initiate one but only received pitying smiles. This goes onto playgroups, primary school mothers' groups etc etc...they just don't exist here.
When my son was at kindergarten I asked a few mums if they would like to come over for a drink after school - not forgetting that school pick up was 5h45pm. That was when I was labelled as an anglo soak, slush, oh whatever....been there??
I will admit that by the time my son was 8 and daughter 3 we had moved from the country to Bordeaux. I did finally meet some mothers who enjoyed a cup of tea after school and a rant about the offspring, the school system etc etc...however these are mothers who have lived and studied abroad. By the way I have never ever suggested a glass of wine after school!! I suggest you don't go there either!
My mother's only source of stress, if one can call it that, was coordinating her bridge passion with becoming a full time taxi driver running me from school to orchestra to tennis, to band to ballet to cello to flute to sailing to choir and back to school again!! I'm afraid that public transport in the antipodes was a mere shadow of the brilliant transport system here. ....Oh god, here I go, can't resist getting side tracked.."3 Cheers for Alain Juppé and the wonderful wonderful tramway in Bordeaux!!!!!!" More about this another day.... Today I want to talk about going back to school and mothers.....
The first day my son entered the Maternal ( Kindergarden!) he came home armed with at least 20 papers for me to fill out, sign and duly return, often with separate cheques for piddling amounts such as 2 euros 30 for classroom tissue supplies...I exaggerate NOT!! I sent my son along with cash the first time but it came back home with him...and I had to write out 7 separate cheques totalling to less than 30 euros! I might add that I was stupefied as the info I was filling out was IDENTICAL on every single piece of paper!!!!!!! OK so that was 10 years ago and the computer systems were certainly not up to today's.Now can I tell you what really pushes my red button.....I have been filling out these same forms for both my children EVERY SINGLE YEAR of their scolarity.I am still doing it,12 years on.I always get something wrong/leave something out and my poor children get sent home with notes in their homework notebooks reminding them their mother is an admin dunce. Does this drive you as batty as me? Have you ever wondered...WHY? Its not as if the info changes...my son is still ticking the male box and my daughter the female box. Our phone numbers haven't changed and neither have the parents...?
Then there is the "fournitures"/ school supplies. From College onwards this becomes an almost insurmountable battle in the supermarket aisles every September as perspiring parents battle for their 4 colour biros, red, green and blue pens,blanco, white boards and markers, assorted felt tips, assorted colours pencils, HB pencils, not to mention the kilos and kilos of stationery... I am fortunate enough to have a willing french husband who carries out this task for me. The first time I read my son's school supply list I felt transported onto another planet. Over 30 entries with descriptions such as " cahier quad 96 pages 21 x 29,7"....being blond I thought I had to do maths at the supermarket too...where's my calculator? In my country, all we needed was a school bag with a pencil case, fountain pen, pencil, rubber and ruler. Our school provided the stationary and books...surely this is not such a difficult concept even for the Education National to grasp. If the state bought the stationary it would also mean definate business for the paper companies plus a rise in competition and drop in prices...couldn't the schools simply "bill" the parents??????? Dah?
For the kids the anguish comes in filling up the school bag for the next day...and woe betide you if you bring the wrong cahier to class or forget your green biro. I'm sorry but I just don't get this!!!! Why stress a child over such menial things and couldn't the teacher have a few extra pens on hand...I do for my students and they're adults!! If they want to teach them responsibility take them out on the streets to pick up rubbish, let them do service in the community...no?
Then there are the first "controls"..the first tests with the object NOT of seeing how much you know but how much you DON'T know!! ARGH, this kills me. When will they learn that teaching is about making kids realise what they are good at and strengthening this and then consolidating and " improving" where there are weaknesses. I am far from being PC ( politically correct) when it comes to education but there must be a shift in attitude to make these wee people feel like they have a value. So, if you aren't good at maths let's encourage your french and vice versa. Everything has a grade out of 20....get less than 10 and you are basically a moron!!!..even if you get 18 in another subject!! Sometimes there are no grades but a useful comment such as "vu"...seen. Now THAT'S educative. As a teacher at post bac up to Masters 2 level I still go out of my way to write informative comments to HELP my students. I want them to succeed. I want them to learn and grow. Am I odd?
Culture : did you, like me, imagine that as your child was in France that he would be painting like Monet and expressing himself like Moliere...?? Wake up!! Sadly art, written expression and music have a very small place even in primary school. Last year when my daughter was in CM2 ( year 6) I asked the teacher at the parents meeting if she had planned on doing some art. She said yes there was an art lesson planned. "Oh, once a week?" asked the naive mother.."No, once this year"...no comment. My son is 15 and my daughter is 10 and I am still waiting for them to come home with the stories they have written at school. Still waiting........
Enough about the system and its state of limbo. Let's get onto another one of my culture shocks. In my country, as in most anglo/american countries we love mother support groups and networks ( hence my vain attempts with this blog!!). The coffee/tea mornings start early on in our childrens' lives....usually when they are still foetuses. I remember the envy I felt towards my antipodean girlfriends talking about their birthing groups, getting together once a week at one of the members' homes, ranting on about morning sickness, veins, dreadful maternity clothes, attitudes, horny husbands still insisting on acrobatic positions when the baby is due next week, etc etc. I don't know about you but my first pregnancy in France was a period marked by projectile vomiting for 4 months, dealing with arrogant male gynies and loneliness. A coffee group would have been fab....I did try with my second pregnancy to initiate one but only received pitying smiles. This goes onto playgroups, primary school mothers' groups etc etc...they just don't exist here.
When my son was at kindergarten I asked a few mums if they would like to come over for a drink after school - not forgetting that school pick up was 5h45pm. That was when I was labelled as an anglo soak, slush, oh whatever....been there??
I will admit that by the time my son was 8 and daughter 3 we had moved from the country to Bordeaux. I did finally meet some mothers who enjoyed a cup of tea after school and a rant about the offspring, the school system etc etc...however these are mothers who have lived and studied abroad. By the way I have never ever suggested a glass of wine after school!! I suggest you don't go there either!
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Susie,
ReplyDeleteAs an American with a kiwi husband who has just (about 1 year ago) moved to NZ and with a sister in Bordeaux, I am enjoying your perspective and can't wait to try the recipes! Had to mention that when we arrived in Wanaka and the kids started school I was feeling the same sticker shock as you. We had a big long list of school supplies including all the different sized stationary, pens, pencils, kiwi packs... that ran me over $100. On top of that there seemed to be fees for any extra activities, arts, sports, parent donations, etc. Even though California is in serious economic trouble, all of this was covered for the kids. All they had to do was show up the first day of school with their backpacks and either lunch or $2 for a full hot lunch! Not to complain, there are so many great things about New Zealand and right now I wouldn't trade it, just wanted to let you know that it may not be that different than Bordeaux :)