LINGUISTIC LOO LAHS
Overalls, frying pans and other sexual toys!
I am sure that many of you have made dreadful linguistic errors/mistakes..."faux pas" etc. But one thing I have noticed is that when we make them from english into french they are almost always instant XXXX sexual innuendo. This is really a chance for all you to share some of your faux pas in the comment section underneath. But let me let you in on a couple of mine first...
At our wedding a few weeks ago not only did the MC but also my new husband feel the need to have a public airing of my linguistic and cultural misdemeanors. My husbands' favourite (and he wasn't even there when it happend) took place years and years ago when my now 15 year old son was about 6 months.
I had gone into Bordeaux to seek Osh Kosh evolving overalls (salopette in french..).These were great...an overall which was not only cute but "grew" with the child for about a year. Value +! Into Galleries Lafayettes childrens' section I strode, straight up to the the most "motherly" looking sales lady...."J'aimerais une saloppe pour mon fils....( no comment from the sales lady so I continued talking...)...et avec des boutons entres les jambes," ignorantly thinking that I had just asked for a pair of overalls for my son AND with buttons down the legs.
In fact, by leaving out the last syllable I had just asked the charming, maternal sales lady for " a bitch/slut with buttons between her legs." I can't have been the first anglo saxon to have done this as she first asked me how old my son was and then on hearing he was 6 months lead me graciously over to the overall counter...
When my husband and I started dating we were living in separate cities. We used to tgv to each other betweeen Paris and Bordeaux. Food preparation was less important than other activities given our lack of time together so we'd often resort to takeaways, cheap brasseries etc.
There we were one Saturday in the local chinese takeaways buying Nem/Spring Rolls etc. G turns around commenting that I don't have anything as modern as a microwave to heat up our Nems. Practical Susie then turns around to the vendor and asks rather indignantly whether she can heat up Nem in a frying pan ...well at least that's what I thought I had said...again the lack of yet another syllable teamed with my awful pronunciation..." monsieur pouvons nous chauffer nos Nems a poils?" Basically I had asked at full volume whether we could heat up our Nem in the nude! I meant ..." a la poelle." The vendor was very positive about the whole idea and said " oui oui oui" I turned around to smile success at my chap only to find he'd left the shop ....
Ok more tomorrow...
I am sure that many of you have made dreadful linguistic errors/mistakes..."faux pas" etc. But one thing I have noticed is that when we make them from english into french they are almost always instant XXXX sexual innuendo. This is really a chance for all you to share some of your faux pas in the comment section underneath. But let me let you in on a couple of mine first...
At our wedding a few weeks ago not only did the MC but also my new husband feel the need to have a public airing of my linguistic and cultural misdemeanors. My husbands' favourite (and he wasn't even there when it happend) took place years and years ago when my now 15 year old son was about 6 months.
I had gone into Bordeaux to seek Osh Kosh evolving overalls (salopette in french..).These were great...an overall which was not only cute but "grew" with the child for about a year. Value +! Into Galleries Lafayettes childrens' section I strode, straight up to the the most "motherly" looking sales lady...."J'aimerais une saloppe pour mon fils....( no comment from the sales lady so I continued talking...)...et avec des boutons entres les jambes," ignorantly thinking that I had just asked for a pair of overalls for my son AND with buttons down the legs.
In fact, by leaving out the last syllable I had just asked the charming, maternal sales lady for " a bitch/slut with buttons between her legs." I can't have been the first anglo saxon to have done this as she first asked me how old my son was and then on hearing he was 6 months lead me graciously over to the overall counter...
When my husband and I started dating we were living in separate cities. We used to tgv to each other betweeen Paris and Bordeaux. Food preparation was less important than other activities given our lack of time together so we'd often resort to takeaways, cheap brasseries etc.
There we were one Saturday in the local chinese takeaways buying Nem/Spring Rolls etc. G turns around commenting that I don't have anything as modern as a microwave to heat up our Nems. Practical Susie then turns around to the vendor and asks rather indignantly whether she can heat up Nem in a frying pan ...well at least that's what I thought I had said...again the lack of yet another syllable teamed with my awful pronunciation..." monsieur pouvons nous chauffer nos Nems a poils?" Basically I had asked at full volume whether we could heat up our Nem in the nude! I meant ..." a la poelle." The vendor was very positive about the whole idea and said " oui oui oui" I turned around to smile success at my chap only to find he'd left the shop ....
Ok more tomorrow...
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Great job on the blog, Miss Susie Q! You're so right about the inevitable sexual nature of the the linguistic faux pas - here's mine:
ReplyDeleteWhile a student in Paris, I attended the Judo dojo d'été, as all judo clubs close in the summer. I was paired with a woman I didn't know who was smaller than me, but had a higher grade. She was basically draped across my back and was trying to explain a better technique to me when I said "Ok, il faut que je te baise." She startled, and I began thinking about what I could have said wrong when it came to me - "Désolée!" "Pas grave" I was mortified!
Thanks for your comment Jana....that "B" word!
ReplyDeleteI walked into a party in Geneva once and thought I was saying "let's kiss"..."Baisons nous?"...and in Switzerland they kiss 4 times!!!