LIFE CHANGING MOMENTS

Turning around...



Sometimes we read, eat or drink something and it changes our lives.




"Come quickly, I'm tasting stars!"


Dom Perignon - the first time he sipped champagne


About 3 years ago a friend in NZ rang me to tell me about a book -  Almost French by Sarah Turnbull, an Australian in Paris.
"Yours Sceptically," went out and bought it.


Basically I sat down on the couch and read it cover to cover -  consuming litres of tea, onto coffee, finishing off the book with a bottle of Bordeaux red.
I then lifted myself off the couch, walked over to the window and wept.
I dried my eyes, turned around and started to live again.






The book is written by an Australian woman who comes to Paris for the love of her life -  a French man. Been there?
It outlines all her cultural, social and linguistic shocks. Her blunders, misfortunes, misunderstandings.
All this she does she does with humour and great feminine perception. She doesn't "slay" France in any way. Instead she concludes by understanding and, in some ways, accepting, but without changing who she is.


I finally understood that life as a foreign woman in this country doesn't mean I have to become French myself, oust all things anglosaxon from my life ( including other anglo saxon women) nor conform to a French Bordelais model.



I threw out all my navy blue clothes ( well, almost!) and, more importantly, stopped beating myself up over non-existent "friendships" with French women and, emptied my life of those who were simply " too much hard work!!"
I accepted invitations, for the first time, from American, English, Irish,whatever, women. I started hearing others' experiences here and even shared my own -  talk about a verbal symphony of ..Me too..I know..Doesn't that drive you...
We have discovered that all our "problems" have a common root, French men. But we are wise enough to remember that we LOVE these French men. Instead of getting depressed and down on ourselves, we get together and talk about our problems, and support each other.


I am now surrounded by a large group of amazing, courageous women. Sisters.
I can honestly say that my life here was rather shallow without them.


What do we do best? Laugh. ( ...and empty wine bottles!)


I am not French. I am a New Zealander living in France. After reading Almost French I realised that I should just accept and be my "kiwi" self. By being moi I can contribute something different, and hopefully, useful, to this old society.


My glass is no longer half empty...it is half full. To be honest, usually it is flowing over!! Thank you wonderful wonderful friends!! ( and their french partners!! haha!!)




ps something I could never do in NZ but love doing in france... cycling to work in very high heels!
pps Boeuf Bourguignon for supper!

Comments

  1. A tribute to wonderful friends...LIFE CHANGING MOMENTS.
    Love S

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  2. The best part is that we all help keep one another's glasses half full to overflowing -- figuratively AND literally!! :-) What a great column -love you much!

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  3. You're the best, Miss Susie Q! I've heard about the book, but haven't read it yet - can I borrow yours?

    I've had a similar epiphany while here in Bordeaux - I'll never be French, I'll never get it exactly right, and that's okay - in fact, it's liberating.

    When my French man insists that I say things a certain way, dress a certain way, at times I allow him to be my "cultural interpreter-advisor" as sometimes my American ways are way too direct - but other times I feel quite confident in saying "no, that's not me - and I'll go to the Super U in my sweat pants on Sunday morning if I feel like it, thank you very much!" And yes, everyone stared, but I felt fine, like myself - a New Yorker on a Sunday morning - only missing the NY Times and a good bagel :)

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  4. ...and I want to add that I'd go insane here without our crew - love you Wonder Women!

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  5. Just catching up on posts. This one is very touching. Right on the mark. Bless our Susie!

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  6. Dear Suzie This is a beautifully written tribute to your friends. It also salutes your love of life and your courage.
    I don't know you at all but I hope that your friends are encouraging you to write a book. You are a talented writer who makes me laugh out loud!
    Jane

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  7. About your Life Changing Moments post. What amazing writing and are you friends not lucky to have a friend like you too?
    Jane

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