LINGUISTIC LOL

Reverse linguistic blunders...

After years of making my own sexual-innuendo-charged linguistic blunders in French and dealing with the rollaround-on-the-floor carry-on laughter,  I would like to congratulate myself for my poise and inner-calm for the following situation....

Ex lawyer, I have been examining the regional law bar students in Bordeaux for the last 10 years. Part of their European cursus is to sit a legal english oral exam in front of a jury. Taken very seriously, it is a major source of stress for most of them.

Stress takes many forms -  nervous laughter, facial sweats, near tears, speedy speech or even slow motion diction.

One young candidate arrived before the jury yesterday, beautifully tailored black suit, mother's pearls, etc.... Her presentation had been rather wooden, but that was just the stress speaking. The content was brilliant. Discussing "causality" in slow, steady, careful English, she had meant to answer my question affirming that an affiliation in the said case was established. 

Instead she said,

"Yes, madam, a fellation was established."

Controlling my facial expressions and keeping my head down I said I had no more questions and that she could leave. 

Now for something figgy...

Autumn figs are at every market at the moment. I can't resist. The biggest challenge is to get them home without eating them all first! 

Figs are great in crumble with pears and apples, their skin tinting the other fruit deep magenta.

Fig, Pear, Apple Spiced Almond Crumble

6 - 8 large ripe figs, red skinned

3 pears

2 apples ( granny smith are best)

1 cup ground almonds

1/2 cup flour

1/2 cup rolled oats

1/2 cup sticky brown sugar ( sucre vergoise, brun )

150 gr butter

2 tablespoons grated fresh ginger

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Pre heat oven 160°

Slice figs, not too finely. Slice apples and pears in fine slices.

Layer fruit in a baking dish.

Pulse spices, almonds, flour, rolled oats and butter in a food processor. Add butter, pulse until crumbles.

Put crumble mixture on top of layered fruit. Press down gently.

Bake slowly for about 45 mins.

Serve with lashings of whipped cream and a glass of aged tawny port.