That time of the year again when this desperateanglohousewife feels like the poster-girl for too many culinary indulgences over Winter (...autumn, winter, spring, summer, autumn, winter..!)
Every magazine, pharmacy window, pop-up and flyer are constantly telling me Mincir, mincir, mincir.
It's the annual self-cringe moment when, in France, the gorgeous snake-hipped, unhealthily slim french woman gets, well, even slimmer.
It is a dreadful time of the year to live in this country...
Instead of telling myself I have an anglo/scottish heritage of tall, big-boned women to blame for my curves, I :
1. Do the French thing of hissing and spitting at myself.This year things have to change. Basic logic tells me it is not at 40-something that I am going to transform overnight into a French-sized nymph/goddess.
2. Take a "cure" of something with enormous amounts of herbs and plants which renders me utterly loo-bound
3. Stop buying butter!
4. Watch Georgy Girl** for the 100th time and cry into my chardonnay.
I have discovered the ease and delight of shopping on UK shop websites which deliver to France...no more trying to squeeze into humiliating French sunfrocks where the waist is about an inch below my boobs, my arms look like sausages and where 'knee-length' still shows my hockey-knees to the world instead of falling just below them!
Instead of dealing with the shop-girl smirks as I try to button up something across my chest where the button holes seem out on my shoulders, I now click onto Next, Monsoon, Johnny Boden, House of Fraser, and the like. I love the way my goods arrive and simply...fit.
For my health and well-being, I have cut out as much gluten as is reasonably possible and start the day with a fruit and vegetable smoothie. Lunch is an enormous salad and dinner chilled soups or misos. My shape probably won't change much, apart from shedding a few surplus kilos, but I feel infinitely better in both health and womanhood at 40-something!
Fresh Blueberry, Banana and Carrot Juice Smoothie
1 large banana
1 cup fresh blueberries ( if you can't find fresh, Picard have them)
1 cup organic carrot juice
juice of half a lemon/lime
2 - 3 ice cubes
Whizz ingredients for about 30 seconds. Drink immediately.