HAIRCUT HELL

...a gentle trim


Have you ever noticed people's reactions to a new haircut?


There are 2 types  - " ah LOVE your hair!!" and then, " oh,(pregnant pause) you've had a haircut."


The first is induced by admiration. The second by utter shock and revulsion...but with an accent on diplomacy.


You have probably already guessed that I have had a haircut. And yes OF COURSE I am in the second category! 


I have suffered two weeks of,
Oh have you cut your hair? 
You've had a hair cut? 
You hair is shorter? 
Nice hair colour!
DAH!


I will admit that have been reduced to replying with juvenille type comments, " no shrunk in the wash" " no had a neck stretch" which have been meet with nervous laughter from the questioners who then really wished they had said nothing at all about my awful awful chop!


I have even had those who cannot even look me in the eye! ( French husband, FH, said Lovely hair darling whilst looking at the ceiling!)
So far nobody has given me directions to the hat shop but expect that will come...


One of the most traumatising things about living in another country is going to the hairdresser...when I first moved to France I was living in the country. I had some amazing "hairdos"..the best was what only could be refered to as "tribute to Peter Frampton" -  I was transformed into the "shag" ( nothing sexual here!) princess - multi-layered hair, teased and streaky. A nightmare! Renamed hairdresser to whoredresser!!


Last week's cut was not quite so bad in comparison - the holder of extremely thick hair which was very long, I decided it was time to go shoulder length. SHOULDER length. 
My hairdresser of 10 years has up and gone with no forwarding address...he had "mastered" my very difficult hair and had rendered me "presentable" for the last decade. I am mourning his departure! Post haircut - utterly gutted and in need of medication!


I made the mistake of allowing someone who doesn't know my hair to cut it from long to short..I did explain that my hair is MUCH shorter dry than wet when it was cut up to my collarbone..I repeated myself when it was brushing my shoulders. Too late.
The poor girl's face when she was drying my 20kgs of hair as it shot up to my nape...


The result...Hillary Clinton. Yep, I have a Hillary Clinton haircut and it is dreadful. Absolutely dreadful. Susie for President!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Am stateswoman proto-type without the all-plum pantsuit.


I won't need a helmet to ride a motorbike..I have my own built-in to my head.




In need of serious comfort food. Am reaching out to the fresh fettucini..(maybe I could wear it on my head?!)
Here is a really easy fettucini dish which is great for Sunday supper and noble enough to serve if people drop in.
Make sure everyone is already sitting down for supper with a big glass of chardonnay before you start cooking...fresh pasta needs to be eaten straight away - it does not wait!




Sunday Supper Fettucini


fresh fettucini, 100 - 120gr per person
Good quality smoked salmon ( I use scottish un-farmed), 1 small fillet per person or if I pass the Ikea Swedish grocery, a side of whole wood-smoked salmon which I crumble.
1/2 cup capers
fresh chives, chopped
juice of a lemon plus the zest
olive oil
freshly grated parmesan
black pepper
malden salt


Chop salmon into thin strips. Add lemon juice, zest, capers, salt and pepper. Toss, cover and set aside.
Cook fettucini. Drain well. Toss through olive oil and salmon mixture.Sprinkle over chopped chives. 
Serve immediately with lashings of fresh parmesan and a large green salad.





Comments

  1. Just looking at the photo made me want to make your fettucini!
    Does your FH realise how lucky he is!!

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  2. Very funny haircut post! And have been there too, asymetric, with Ronald MacDonald color to go.
    Love your blog.

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  3. I've given up on hairdressers here and cut my own. Great blog and what yummy recipes!

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  4. As usual, very very funny. Can I call you Hillary?

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  5. @ Nikki...thanks for your comments. If you knew what I could do with cooking shears you would never have told me you cut your own hair!!!

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  6. Very funny...in a sad-I'm-so-sorry-this-happened-but-man-I-get-it sort of way. I've been here in France for almost 3 years. Every time I've tried to get my haircut, the hairdresser goes on and on about my thick hair and how beautiful it is...and then proceeds to wack it all out with a razor. The result is always a poor, middle-aged woman whose hair is obviously thinning! I stopped going and just let my hair grow. But yesterday I found somebody! Somebody who gets it! I can't tell you what a perfect week it has turned out to be. Or maybe I shouldn't tell you. That would be insensitive to your current plight.

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  7. @ Delana, Thank you for your message. A ray of hope. Yes for us thick haired anglosaxons going to the hairdresser can be frightful. If you are in Bordeaux do tell the name of your hairdresser....!!

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  8. ps Delana's blog is very funny...http://delana-dujour.blogspot.com/

    Loving your relationship with the peanut butter jar!!

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  9. Made this last night. I love you all over again

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  10. Made this last night after a long and boring day in the shop. Proper lifted my spirits it did xxx

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  11. I posted twice. I loved it that much

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  12. @ Julia at Lily B..so glad you enjoyed. Now try making the amaretto cake for pudding!

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