I'm back - and a "singleton" at 50+, gulp.

 It's funny, isn't it, how life just seems to be not just one mountain to climb but entire RANGES of mountains. You feel like you've finally got to the top of one mountain and then there's another bloody mountain to get over.

I left writing this blog about 6 years ago - healthy, happy, smug, partnered up, peri-menopausal and amused by life. Nothing could go wrong now, I believed. 

But, my god did things go pear shaped. 

Menopause was a total bitch and had me sweating bricks several times an hour. Plus, although I was maintaining my gym routine ( watching the men flex their biceps was  motivational), my metabolism had other ideas, and, I blew up like the balloon - yes I "ballooned," gaining 25kgs in what felt like just one season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!

Got through the dark tunnel of the onset of menopause and even lost the weight. Then early 2019 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Another mountain to climb.

Then there was COVID.

Then there was relative normality.

Then my long term chap of 10 years dumped me in a bar in approximately 5 minutes and I basically never heard from him again. The funny thing was that even though my heart had shattered into a million pieces, I felt oddly relieved.

So fast forward to later on in 2023 when my girlfriends convince me I am spending far too much time alone and that I "need to get back in the saddle."  Susie, they said, you need to get onto dating sites, meet men, have meals out, get some sex! Meeting another man was probably the last thing on my miserable bucket list let alone SEX. How could I possibly get naked in front of a stranger with my scars, odd boobs and shattered self esteem. Oh and god my undies - my big, floppy, awful old flesh coloured undies with perforated elastic waists and holes in the crotches! ( yes I hear you, no wonder he dumped me!!)

Well it's been quite a journey with dating apps, strange rdvs, wonderful rdvs, dreadful rdvs, men who hide behind the apps, my renewed relationship with modern vibrators, back to sex/no sex.... and I'm going to tell you all about my adventures and I'm hoping you'll share yours back. Please feel reassured I already have a therapist!! I'm sharing these things as I know SO many of you girls are walking the same walk....in the same metal toe-capped boots. I'm beginning to ask if it is the "new normal."

See you here soon, I hope.

Love 

Susie xxx